as i type this, i'm sitting in the new baby's room (aka the office that i still haven't converted into a nursery/bedroom) procrastinating. i should be doing doing a million and one other things, but instead i'm staring at my computer. i was attempting to pack my bag for the hospital as well as the baby's bag and majerle's bag, but who knew packing a bag for a kid you've never met before would be so hard? i don't remember packing majerle's bag or mine. to be honest, there isn't much i remember about the events leading up to majerle's birth and i was always fine with that because brian was there to fill in the blanks for me. now, i find myself going to ask him questions like "what did we do with our birth plan?" "did you remember what i packed the first time around?" who's idea was it to have another baby?!?!?" but sadly, he's not there to answer me.
i don't know how single mothers do it. and granted, now i too am a single mother, but it hasn't sunk in yet. i guess i'm still waiting for him to help me turn the office into a nursery or give me the encouragement and motivation i so desperately need. i want him here to help me make a decision about what to pack and what not to pack, because i'm lost.
what's really strange is that as much as i'm not prepared for this child to be born, i just want her to be here already. let the disaster of me trying to raise 2 kids by myself begin! it's kind of like when i was in school and i hadn't studied for a major test. i just wanted to get the damn thing over with instead of trying to cram in as much info as i could before class started. rip the band aid off already. come on baby, we've got hardships to deal with and mountains to climb. let's just get started already!
but instead, i'm going to procrastinate a little while longer by waddling around at babies r us, going on a frozen yogurt play date, and taking a long shower. there will be lots of sitting around, lots of avoiding anything that has to do with getting ready for the new baby and then at around 9 pm just for good measure, i'm going to panic about how i've gotten nothing done. yup. that sounds about right...
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