baby leashes are the debil

the baby leash. oh where do i begin...

i was lurking around my local mommies website when i noticed a topic about baby leashes. the original poster was considering buying one for her child and wanted to know peoples opinions on the matter. of course, moms chimed in about how great baby leashes are. i tried to fight the urge to be the wet blanket (as i always seem to be on that site) but i think you know how the story ends. i managed to bite my tongue and simply replied:

i've never used one, but i'm not a fan. we simply taught our DD1 how to walk next to us with no problems. when we came close to a street or any other possible safety concern we would either hold her hand or pick her up.

so of course, the next poster was a fan of baby leashes and claimed that ever since her young child almost got hit by a car, it's her new personal messiah. and that's when it hit me: parents are lazy as hell and will do anything to disguise the fact that they are lazy as hell. now don't get me wrong, i know that every family is different and every child is different. and we're all different but we're all the same blah blah blah babies blah blah blah puppies and rainbows and lollipops. but let's be honest--baby leashes are for lazy parents. it takes much more effort to actually keep an eye on your child and retrieve them if they are in harms way than it does to leash them up and give the leash a yank if they're doing something they're not supposed to be. why hold your child's hand in a large crowd when you could leash them? why push a big bulky stroller when you could leash them? why actually pay attention when you could leash them? because all of that is hard work and hard work is no fun!

lay down the rules. tell 14 month old tommy that he doesn't pay any bills and he ain't running nothing. so either hold mommy's hand or walk right next to me but you better keep up. you can break free if you want to, but that's probably not a good idea. the minivan speeding toward you will crush you like a bug. and if you ever want to go on another playdate again, it's in your best interest to do what i tell you to do. now let's get crackin.

i guess my point is this: if you're doing it right, being a parent is hard work and we all like to take shortcuts every now and then. but if your precious little one doesn't listen to you when they're not confined to a stroller and you want them to be safe, maybe it's best if you wait until they are developmentally ready to walk without being a flight risk and are able to listen and follow rules.

 

oh and if nothing else, the baby leash makes both of you look silly. kind of like when you see people walking a cat on a leash. :)