Just Be Yourself

Recently on one of the mommy based websites I frequent, a member posted this pic asked if any fellow moms would allow their daughter to get their haircut like this:

tmz.com

My answer: once Majerle is older (6? 7? 8?), if she wants a mohawk, she can have one. There was one response that stood out to me though. A member said no way, the haircut is ugly, its borderline abuse, it makes the little girl look like a boy, she looks foolish and people will laugh at her and call her names, and that the whole thing is just sad.

I only use this acronym when absolutely necessary, so here it goes...WTF?

I totally get that a mohawk isn't for everyone or for every family, but such a strong response seems uncalled for in my opinion. Is it really that serious? But then it got me thinking. And yes, for some people, fitting in really is that serious. It's not for me, but it wasn't always like that. Growing up, I had a core group of friends and we were always well liked by the majority of our peers. We were not cookie cutter images of each other (unless we planned it), we each had our own sense of style, and that was that. Or so I thought. Right before my senior year of high school my family moved from Michigan to North Carolina. I had no friends, therefore I had no expectations. My personal style changed, the music I listened to changed, and my personal identity changed. Not because I was trying to reinvent myself but because I could finally be myself without any borders.

After I suffered through my senior year in a new land, I went to college back up in Michigan and was roommates with one of my best friends from high school. I had to make a conscious decision to keep doing what I liked to do and not worry about what she might say. After my freshman year I ended up transferring to a university in North Carolina and it was liberating, once again, to be the stranger. There were no expectations of what I should be like. I enjoy the feeling of truly being myself and I encourage others to try it out.

I've had people ask me, "Why did you get tattoos?" Because I like them. "Why did you cut off all of your hair?" Because I wanted to. "Why do you want to stay at home?" Because I don't want to go out. "Why aren't you married yet? Because right now, I don't want to be. It's surprising how many people don't realize that some people don't make decisions based off of what others may think. Seems like common sense to me. I think that's why I despise baby naming guides.  Don't name your kid anything too trendy, too old fashioned, too different, too complicated, or anything that might ruffle any feathers or get them teased. Oh boo. Stop worrying about what others think. And if someone has an issue with the way you look, dress, talk, or what your name is it sucks to be them because you're perfectly happy with it! I won't tiptoe around life because I'm worried that someone won't like me or that I won't fit in. And I hope my daughter is the same way.

February is...

Black History Month. February is over. I have done NOTHING to honor Black History month. and I feel really bad about it . Initially I had planned for our family to go to the grand opening of the International Civil Rights Center & Museum, on February 1st, but one of those gigantic snow storms hit the area. Since then, the snow has come and gone. And we still haven't made it. I did end up buying the book Sit In: How Four Friends Stood Up By Sitting Down to read to my daughter. For a 2 year old, its a pretty long book. But she likes for me to read it anyway. I know she doesn't understand the concepts of segregation, integration, or things like that. Majerle doesn't understand race. She says that Mommy is brown and her and Daddy are gold.

I have walked past that historical Woolworth building a million times and never noticed/knew that it was the Woolworth lunch counter where the sit in took place. To me, it was just another empty store front that we passed on our way to the club. I don't know if all of those people who fought for equal rights would be pissed to know that or would they be somewhat pleased that people of all races and ethnicities are gathering in that same area and having a great time together. Probably a little bit of both. Sometimes I feel very conflicted. Even with knowing the history of the city I live in and the history of my family members, for the most part, I don't think about what they have gone through and experienced so that I didn't have to. But when I do take the time to reflect I am very grateful for the sacrifices they made, the battles they fought, and the passion they had for future generations.